Saturday, April 25

"i can get drunk for two dollars"

i like unnecessary preliminary knowledge.
i am too lazy to describe the context of that thought

yesterday was one of the few days where i marveled at everything in bellingham
it seemed very scenic and pleasant and john feodorov gave a presentation which was good
me and lindsay biked to walgreens to get film developed. eric (employee) said there had been an increase in birthing - photos and he had to look away a lot when processing photos

the night had very nostalgic characteristics; dark turquoise summer sky and small city lights,
i could feel the cold sea air, riding bikes in this top left corner of america. really home, for once.
downtown there was a classy man playing the accordion with a very-unsober man playing the harmonica. we stood on a corner with them for a while.
also joining us was the black man who carries a huge ghetto radio on his shoulder.
this anecdote does the situation 2% justice.
some hobos invited us to sit with them on dirty steps and they told us stories and a girl with rotted front teeth was blown away with how beautiful I was and kept telling me about it.

recalling later is hazy; feeling really shitty about the usual and good about being drunk on a porch.

Thursday, April 23

a day

today I didn't go to school. It was nice. I sat in my bed with my ukulele.
then I left home at three and was sitting on the bus listening to transatlantique,
reading the end of Demian (interesting book) and smiling as the bus headed past the graveyard, dusty sunlight and distant northwest bay and all.
I felt if I died soon then there should be a final photo taken of me at the moment because I felt alright with everything.
does this make sense


Today I bought a blue ukulele.  

I used to have a high vocabulary. And I know I know more appropriate words for things but can never remember them. I feel stupid. 
This week I have done nothing at school and will continue to do nothing. Trying to find productive things to do at school. Can do anything I want at school because no one cares lately. Can't think of things I could do at school. I've heard being drunk at school is horrible. I'll just read and listen to Okkervil River. 

I find a way to incorperate my bland displeasure with my recent life in every assignment at school. 

Hearing old Electric President/Radical Face brings me the most severe nostalgia, possible. I did not know this was possible.

When are peaches in season? 

Still need to go to a college party soon because it may be theraputic. Especially if I find a bespectacled anndrodynous human to talk to and then have some form of drunken physical contact with.
Maybe this will make my life worse because it won't satisfy me.