grief for temorary memory

i laid in bed for several hours this morning

i would have stayed if i had been tormented by hunger

i even tried imagining a bowl of chicken noodle soup next to my pillow.

last night it could hear the rain outside my window

i was overcome with grief because i want to keep my

memory of the sound of rain for all of eternity

but i reminded myself "one final day all you have shall cease to be yours"

and it all seemed silly and then suddenly physically

incomprehensible and my body became rigid

i dreamt you played a clear trumpet

in large, dark concrete rooms with a band uniform

is it even possible to make a clear trumpet? i think not.