Thursday, June 24

new age bullshit

i'm watching people i used to want to know in plastic lawnchairs that reflect a sick dull light of new age northwest bullshit and i feel my own young sallow eyes that can't drink in anymore
i checked "no" bubbles with a sordid smirk for questions like "do you ever drink until there's nothing else to drink?" and "do you ever drink to feel better and relieve stress?"
and no i've never blacked out, never done coke, never took pills never never
but i didn't tell enough lies and they're making me come back,
the catholics are making me come back once aweek for two months.
i could tell the lady felt funny when she asked about what kind of things me and my friends talked about and i got all confused and looked out and window and said "strange things i guess?"
i used to pretendsilly, a teeny oblivious, that i was a little black girl who lived in georgia and had peach cobbler and sunday school dresses and a big smiley momma's lap to sit on
nowadays i think about things kinda similar like living real simple in chicago or pittsburgh or new orleans
i was born in DC in sultry july of 1993 and i do miss the fireflies and lightning bolts but now i live here
and it's dark and the buildings are new and the streets are stagnant
worst thing is we stopped learning how to love when we learned how to be scared and sorry
futility blooms in our hearts like a smoked salmon coloured poppy

1 comment:

kerrylily said...

so scared and so, so sorry